This was one of those "fuck it, lets just see any movie" weeks because Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy was sold out and we couldn't just cancel movie night. Shame was exactly as terrible as I thought it would be, of course achieving its NC-17 rating by just showing a lot of peepazools (dicks) wagging around. Shame is a boring and awful movie devoid of any semblance of plot or purpose. Shame is about a sex addict who spends his time jerking off on toilet seats and dreaming about banging his sister, which sounds cool, but isn't because it's just long shots of Micheal Fassbender's stupid face with crappy pussy music (that's the only way I can describe it) playing behind it. I felt like I was watching the sequel to Drive, especially since it had frumpy actress Carey Mulligan as the female lead. I would have walked out on this movie if it wasn't so cold outside. Shame has almost no plot, and it hurts to watch, the only good thing about this movie is that it's only 99 minutes long, even though it felt like I was watching Fassbender make googly eyes at chicks on the train and crying for hours. Fuck this movie, 1 cum-stained toilet seat out of 5.
Ryan's Retort:
I whole-heartedly agree with my movie crew counterpart, Brian. This movie was incredibly boring and way too artsy for its own good. Basically, it's just Magneto crying and jerking off for 99 minutes. Sometimes he even does both at the same time. Don't get me wrong. I totally understand what this movie is about and what the director, Steve McQueen, was going for. It's a character study. Cool. I can respect that. But I don't give one single shit about anyone in this film. I mean the main characters are a perverted freak, a slutty loser, and a douchebag boss. There was one scene towards the beginning of the film that I actually really liked though. In said scene, Magneto is making googly eyes with this one chick on the train and she seems pretty into it but then gradually becomes more and more sad for no apparent reason. Then there's this awesome reveal of her wedding ring that explains everything. The fact that this is such a powerful scene despite there being absolutely no dialogue is kind of awesome. Kind of. The acting in this movie is phenomenal, but its really not worth sitting through this snooze-fest of a film. If you like watching less than moderately attractive women sing entire Frank Sinatra songs as slow as humanly possible, then this is definitely the movie for you.
Overview
Rating: 1 out of 5 peepazools
Did Jelani Fall Asleep: Almost!
No comments:
Post a Comment