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Welcome to Movie Crew Review! Where three of the most rad-tastic New Yorkers bring you correct and indisputably sound opinions. On a scale of 5 wormy apples and whether or not Jelani fell asleep, we will supply you with your fix of reviews of new releases (that we see EVERY TUESDAY), classics, and random movies that we find and add to our colossal (yet ever growing) VHS collection. It is our civic duty as movie buffs to right wrongs, deliver fair and truthful reviews, and fight crime! We’re shaking our heads at the idiotic and inaccurate reviews seen in newspapers, television, and even here on the internet. So, instead of going to the movies based on a review you read in the paper (we have learned, you cannot trust ANY of them!) and being sorely disappointed, let us guide you through the pearly gates of truly entertaining entertainment. Between the cynical Brian, the easily entertained (and also bored) Jelani, and the chock-full-of-actual-movie-knowledge Ryan, all of your questions about whether a movie is crap or gold will be answered. So open your mind, join the ranks of Movie Crew. Don’t trust those other reviewers, trust US!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

VHS Review: I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

By Brian
3/5

This is another movie that would make my mom cry.  I had no idea that when I slipped this greasy pig into my VCR, I would be thrown into an hour long rape scene.  I Spit on Your Grave is about a city slicker lady writer who goes into the country to get some work done on her novel.  Even though she is really nice to everyone in town, four dudes, including one half retarded gentleman, decide to capture and rape poor Ms. Hills just for some action.  The fully graphic rape, double-rape, triple-rape, and quadrupal-rape (in three different scenes) are really hard to watch, even for someone as desensitized as me.  When all the rape is finally over (a little more than half way through the movie) Ms. Hills decides its time for revenge.  This movie has a lot of rape and not enough murder.  I'm hypothesizing that the directer really wanted to drive home the fact the 4 men were awful human beings but I think someone holding you down so someone else can rape you is reason enough for murdering them, they ALL didn't have to go for it.  The half-retarded, goofy, nerdy guy in the movie is supposed to provide comedic relief, but its hard to make someone laugh in the middle of their third graphic full-bush rape scene of the movie. Ms. Hills also feigns niceness before she murders all her victims, which added suspense and some positive weirdness to the movie.  Her behavior also led me to the conclusion: "Never trust someone after you have raped them."  Too much gang rape, not enough murder 3 out of 5 inappropriate comic relief characters.

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