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Welcome to Movie Crew Review! Where three of the most rad-tastic New Yorkers bring you correct and indisputably sound opinions. On a scale of 5 wormy apples and whether or not Jelani fell asleep, we will supply you with your fix of reviews of new releases (that we see EVERY TUESDAY), classics, and random movies that we find and add to our colossal (yet ever growing) VHS collection. It is our civic duty as movie buffs to right wrongs, deliver fair and truthful reviews, and fight crime! We’re shaking our heads at the idiotic and inaccurate reviews seen in newspapers, television, and even here on the internet. So, instead of going to the movies based on a review you read in the paper (we have learned, you cannot trust ANY of them!) and being sorely disappointed, let us guide you through the pearly gates of truly entertaining entertainment. Between the cynical Brian, the easily entertained (and also bored) Jelani, and the chock-full-of-actual-movie-knowledge Ryan, all of your questions about whether a movie is crap or gold will be answered. So open your mind, join the ranks of Movie Crew. Don’t trust those other reviewers, trust US!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

VHS Review: Alice Sweet Alice (1976)

By Brian
3/5
Alice Sweet Alice was lent to me by fellow horror VHS enthusiast Chi, who usually has great taste, but this movie was only good, not great.  Alice Sweet Alice starts out with a little girl getting brutally strangled and then set on fire, all in a church during her first communion.  The victim's sister, Alice, is immediately blamed for the murder.  Alice is a creepy, deranged 12 year old who collects huge water bugs and tortures the morbidly obese landlord downstairs, who she calls Fatso.  The first half of this movie is great, Alice looks and acts like the kind of child who grows up to be a serial killer, she even kills a poor little kitty cat.  However, about half of the way through the movie, Alice is all but completely cut out of the movie, and there's just a lot of the dad, the detective, and the priest, who all look exactly the same.  The second half of the movie is really boring, and mostly just women crying and a superfluous romance that I didn't care about whatsoever.  The murder scenes and the creepy little child actress who plays Alice keep this movie above the 2 star line, but just barely.  This is one of those movies without any main characters and its super confusing, you're better off just watching Friday the 13th Part 2 again.

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