About Us

Welcome to Movie Crew Review! Where three of the most rad-tastic New Yorkers bring you correct and indisputably sound opinions. On a scale of 5 wormy apples and whether or not Jelani fell asleep, we will supply you with your fix of reviews of new releases (that we see EVERY TUESDAY), classics, and random movies that we find and add to our colossal (yet ever growing) VHS collection. It is our civic duty as movie buffs to right wrongs, deliver fair and truthful reviews, and fight crime! We’re shaking our heads at the idiotic and inaccurate reviews seen in newspapers, television, and even here on the internet. So, instead of going to the movies based on a review you read in the paper (we have learned, you cannot trust ANY of them!) and being sorely disappointed, let us guide you through the pearly gates of truly entertaining entertainment. Between the cynical Brian, the easily entertained (and also bored) Jelani, and the chock-full-of-actual-movie-knowledge Ryan, all of your questions about whether a movie is crap or gold will be answered. So open your mind, join the ranks of Movie Crew. Don’t trust those other reviewers, trust US!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Into the Abyss: A Tale of Death, A Tale of Life Review by Ryan

In Herzog's latest documentary, we delve deep into the concepts of life and death through the eyes of a small town in Texas. Into the Abyss tells the tale of two asshole kids, that kill 3 innocent people in order to steal a new car, and the effects that their horrible crime has on the community. Like all of Herzog's films, Into the Abyss is really smart and really slow. And really easy on the eyes. By that I mean that it looks fucking beautiful. Also, Herzog's narration is super witty as per usual. One thing I want to know is how Herzog decides what he's going to make a documentary about. It's always something oddly specific and seemingly random. Like that one about that midget town. This was a genuinely interesting documentary with an approachable yet brutal topic, and I'm not just saying that because I love watching documentaries about murder. Or maybe I am. The two main ballsacks in this movie remind me just how lucky I am to have been born of two loving, intelligent parents and in a major city. Both Michael Perry and Jason Burkett are terrible people that are made even more terrible by the fact that they don't realize just how terrible they are. Terrible. One thing that I don't understand, and never have, is how these fuckbags can turn to religion and think that they're still getting into Heaven even though they've committed one of the worst sins on the list. I mean, murder is pretty high up there, if not the highest, on the list of things that you can't do if you want to get in. It's either murder or rape. But anyway, this movie is also great for dads! I saw it with my dad and we both thoroughly enjoyed it and made fun of the stupid people in it afterwards. So if you can't find anyone to see it with, have your pops take you. Dads love Herzog!

Rating: 4 out of 5 lethal injections

No comments:

Post a Comment