This movie was a huge let down. I saw the first one in theaters with my dad and it actually scared the crap out of me. So as you can imagine, I had pretty high hopes for this one. I guess it doesn't help that I watched it in the middle of the day with my entire family walking around and doing shit; not the best way to watch a horror movie. But still. Nothing even happens until maybe the last half hour of the movie. Also, this family is retarded. They set up these cameras all over their house and are aware that there are spooky things going on at night, yet they rarely check the footage that they've recorded for any spooky behavior. There's this part when the baby starts floating and it's dragged out of its crib and stuff. But none of the family ever finds out about it or cares to find out about it. There's this stupid teenage daughter that has posters of "cool" bands, such as the Ramones and the Misfits, which clearly indicates that she's edgy and not a pushover when it comes to ghosts and demons and shit. But when the ghost demon shows up, she's the biggest fucking pussy ever. Don't you even care about the demon ghost trying to steal your baby brother, edgy teenage girl? Clearly not. I mean she goes back and watches the footage of the ghost demon locking her out of the house, but somehow misses the whole floating baby thing that happened right after that. Also, the whole resolution is dumb as hell. To think that a lowly Spanish maid knows exactly how to get rid of a fucking demon just because she's kinda religious is fucking preposterous! And not only does she get rid of it, but she knows how to throw it onto other people also? I find that very hard to believe.
Rating: 2 out of 5 floating babies
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- Welcome to Movie Crew Review! Where three of the most rad-tastic New Yorkers bring you correct and indisputably sound opinions. On a scale of 5 wormy apples and whether or not Jelani fell asleep, we will supply you with your fix of reviews of new releases (that we see EVERY TUESDAY), classics, and random movies that we find and add to our colossal (yet ever growing) VHS collection. It is our civic duty as movie buffs to right wrongs, deliver fair and truthful reviews, and fight crime! We’re shaking our heads at the idiotic and inaccurate reviews seen in newspapers, television, and even here on the internet. So, instead of going to the movies based on a review you read in the paper (we have learned, you cannot trust ANY of them!) and being sorely disappointed, let us guide you through the pearly gates of truly entertaining entertainment. Between the cynical Brian, the easily entertained (and also bored) Jelani, and the chock-full-of-actual-movie-knowledge Ryan, all of your questions about whether a movie is crap or gold will be answered. So open your mind, join the ranks of Movie Crew. Don’t trust those other reviewers, trust US!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Shitty Sequel Review: Paranormal Activity 2 - by Ryan
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