My little brother had off from school today, so we decided to go to the movies and see something silly. And this was indeed that. But perhaps not silly enough.
Johnny English Reborn takes place several years after the original
Johnny English. I think. They aren't really connected at all other than that it's the same guy. We first find our hero training somewhere in Malaysia, or Thailand or one of those other countries with monks, where he is forced to walk across coals and drag large rocks around with his penis. Then he gets a call from MI7, the British Military Intelligence, saying that they need him for some mission. So he goes to Britain and gets some super sweet spy gadgets, like a talking car and an umbrella rocket launcher, and then leaves to go stop some killer or something. I don't really remember. Eventually, we find out that there's this secret sect of assassins, called "Vortex", that is totally out to kill the prime minister of China. So Mr. Bean is put to the task of figuring out who these "Vortex" people are and how to stop them. Overall, this movie was pretty mediocre. There were some big laughs, but they were few and far between. I did really like the whole chase scene where Mr. Bean is in this awesome spy wheelchair though. The main problem with this movie is that Mr. Bean shouldn't be able to talk, let alone be a capable secret agent. He's just way funnier when he's a huge idiot and nothing else. However, I did like how he sounded exactly like Zazu from
The Lion King the whole time. Or maybe that's just his regular voice. Anyway, the real star of this movie was the mysterious old Chinese woman that kept killing people without any explanation. She just kept showing up with all of these crazy spy guns and then Mr. Bean would inadvertently beat up other old women that he has mistaken for her. Plus, she's an old Chinese woman! That's hilarious!
Rating: 2 out of 5 large penis rocks.
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