So! I finally discovered the secret to not falling asleep during the late movies! Coooffeee! Lots and lots of the shit! Albeit I needed it for the beginning setup of this movie, the thrills kept me up throughout. Not that the setup was boring, it just lacked the gritty suspense and awesome monster moments that made the rest of this film a real treat. After seeing this film, and having never seen the original, I immediately went out and bought a VHS copy (which I will review later!) The entire "who among us is the monster?" schtick mixed with really brutal monster moments throughout made for great horror movie fun. The cast of characters was great, as it included a serious motley crew; the dynamics between them were great. The alien though, was by far the best part. It used the humans as its host, and when it revealed itself, it became a twisted abomination of a thing that was shown in full. Unlike a lot of new horror, in which the monster is only alluded to or seen in the shadows, The Thing was full-frontal-in-your-face-I'MGONNAEATYOU! monster. This movie had lots of fire, lots of guns, lots of explosions, and scientists turned badass monster slayers. And death galore! I was very entertained throughout. Thanks coffee. 5 stars.
Brian's 2-cents
In a shocking change of events, I DID fall asleep during this movie because I had been studying for midterms all week. I was awake for the first half, and I have to agree with Jelani when he says it was awesome how they showed the monster from the beginning. The thing was gross and kept bursting out of people, which was exceedingly entertaining. I really appreciated how each time it busted out of human form, it never went completely to blob form, but resembled a horribly injured and mutated person. The second half of the movie I nodded in and out for, but I vaguely remember a lot of flamethrower action. I'm going to give this one 4 out 5 with an asterisk because I would like to watch it again without falling asleep.
Ryan's Retort
Being a huge ass fan of the original movie, directed by John Carpenter, I will say that this movie was obviously not as good as it could have been. First of all, there was no Kurt Russell cameo at the end. If Kurt Russell was in this movie for even one second, I would have liked it infinitely more. But he wasn't. Fuck. However, there were some sweet references to the original movie that had me tittering in my seat like a tiny little schoolgirl, i.e. the two headed monster thing and the axe in the wall. And the monster was fucking awesome. Like really really cool. There's this one part when they're in a helicopter and this dude's face breaks open and all of these tendrils start pouring out of the crevasse in his head and it was great. Also, those Norwegians sure do love to burn things. First churches, now shape-shifting alien creatures! There was this one part towards the end when the chick ends up on the alien's spaceship or whatever. That sucked. She's like looking at this really pixelated thing moving around for unnecessarily long, and they don't even explain what said pixelated thing is. I'm assuming it was the ship's core or something. It's retarded. My main gripe with this movie was that they kind of beat us over the head with explaining how the alien can shape-shift and disguise itself. We know it can do that. You said it in the fucking trailer. My 11 year old brother knows it can do that. Stop telling us about it. Also, I don't want to see its god damn spaceship. To think that an alien that horrifying drives around space in a spaceship so clean and symmetrical just makes it way less scary. Come on, Hollywood. Get your shit together.
Overview
Rating: 4 out of 5 bearded Norwegian men
Did Jelani Fall Asleep: No. But Brian did!
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