VHS Review: "Lock Up" by Brian

4 sweet ass cars getting destroyed with bats (out of 5)
Lock up is one of the five thousand action movies Sylvester Stallone made when he was in his prime.  In Lock Up, Stallone's character, Frank, is in jail for the second time after a daring escape from prison in order to see his dying father one last time.  With only 6 weeks to go, he is taken from nice prison and put in a shitty prison called "Gateway" run by Donald Sutherland, who Frank dicked over in the past.  Sutherland continuously tries to provoke Frank into trying to escape from jail again so he can fuck with him forever in brutal prison.  Frank is really determined to get out of jail and be with his super hot girlfriend, so he tries to resist the urge to escape.  This movie had a couple of good prison fight scenes, and two montages: and a heart-warming "fix the car" montage and a sweet "playing prison football" montage.  Stallone had a couple of hilarious one liners including "Thats Italian" (after he kisses his girl) and "Rape This" (right before he punches a dude in the face.)  However, the best line in the movie doesn't go to Stallone but to John Amos for his line: "I'm going to shine my boots with your face, you fat fuck!"  This movie was fun to watch, especially because you know Frank is going to attempt another escape, and you get to watch Stallone pretending to go crazy in solitary confinement.