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Welcome to Movie Crew Review! Where three of the most rad-tastic New Yorkers bring you correct and indisputably sound opinions. On a scale of 5 wormy apples and whether or not Jelani fell asleep, we will supply you with your fix of reviews of new releases (that we see EVERY TUESDAY), classics, and random movies that we find and add to our colossal (yet ever growing) VHS collection. It is our civic duty as movie buffs to right wrongs, deliver fair and truthful reviews, and fight crime! We’re shaking our heads at the idiotic and inaccurate reviews seen in newspapers, television, and even here on the internet. So, instead of going to the movies based on a review you read in the paper (we have learned, you cannot trust ANY of them!) and being sorely disappointed, let us guide you through the pearly gates of truly entertaining entertainment. Between the cynical Brian, the easily entertained (and also bored) Jelani, and the chock-full-of-actual-movie-knowledge Ryan, all of your questions about whether a movie is crap or gold will be answered. So open your mind, join the ranks of Movie Crew. Don’t trust those other reviewers, trust US!

Monday, October 24, 2011

VHS Review: Boogie Nights (1997)

2/5
When I bought this tape for $1.08 at the Goodwill, I was thrilled because it had one of my favorite people of all time in it, John C. Reilly.  In this movie, Reilly plays Reed Rothchild, a porn star just trying to make a living boning chicks and acting silly.  One day Rothchild is just chilling at his bosses sweet ass pad with a pool and hot chicks when some new dude comes along and drinks margaritas with him.  The new dude has a big dick or something and ends up co-staring in a action/porno with Rothchild.  2 hours later, Rothchild realizes he just wanted to do magic tricks the whole time, and quits porno, the end.  This movie was way too long, the first half of the movie having no conflict at all.  When the conflict (some guy who's not John C. Reilly gets addicted to drugs) finally happens, its predictable and not that interesting.  Oh did I mention you get to see Reilly shred some sweet guitar and Don Cheadle's there.  For your Health

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